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Childbirth ecological

If the genie from the bottle was manifested today, I would ask him to check the item "delivery" of my checklist, with some small compromises to celebrate Earth Day as it should be.

But to my surprise, delivery has still not been recovered by ecological and anti-globalization activists! I am therefore obliged to improvise a few tricks to reduce the impact of my birth on the environment.

're interested, my personal rélexion leads to the following recommendations:

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• The delivery charge is not. Do not make children significantly reduces your ecological footprint. Reduce your family ambitions.
• Invite your midwife to come to your home bike. Otherwise, plant a tree to offset carbon emissions.
• down the heat a few degrees during delivery. If you're cold, go for the dress Skidoo two parts.

Rethinking

• Abandon neoliberal childbirth in hospitals for biological confinement (without epidural) at home. Giving birth is a vote! A delivery charge contributes to the transformation of the democratic ideal. And remember that childbirth is one link in the capitalist economy. You will then need to breast feed, educate and provide care for baby so just as healthy!
• Like organic food, opt for a midwife is to encourage local production and biodiversity of perinatal trades. You've already made the wise choice? Go Go plant a tree and claim your $ 100 for family benefits!
• In the birth plan, consider prioritizing the criteria for your delivery. Do you deliver local or fair? Should you opt for a midwife or a corner, imported from France? What is the correct price of your birth? That of doctor or midwife?
• The work does not fire? Take a tablespoon of castor oil. In case of diarrhea, plant another tree. You'll need the manure to your new woodlot.

Reuse / Recycle

• Abandon sanitary napkins overwrapped manufactured in sweatshops. Recycle your old clothes instead of maternity pads for making your own home.
• You give birth in water? Reuse bath water to water your plants.
• For each birth, plant a tree and use your placenta as fertilizer. You give birth in winter? Place in the freezer until the new season. Identify good, though. Otherwise, your loved one could cook a steak and serve it to children with the best intentions!
• giving birth in old sheets. Why not take the opportunity to get rid of Star Wars sheets of the future dad? Otherwise, always opt for organic cotton sheets.

importantly, plant a tree every time you will not measure up. The tree you feel guilty while providing you the oxygen you miss a delivery time past.

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Casting

Based on the fact that social life is like a scene with his actors, his public and behind the scenes, it is obvious that the cosmetician is pretty slim gym coach or boss wearing a suit and tie.

But who did the casting vendors of natural products? Too thin, slow gait, forced smile, they seem to come from beyond the grave for me to recommend the granules gives me energy.

Evoking the disease to sell health, is it really a good strategy ?

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Wait rolled economy

I hate to wait.

Even if the economy is rolling, I hate. Yet I know that every moment lost to the clinic, bank, public toilets or restaurant generates at least one direct job-be it that of the specialist "wait marketing" which took the idea of me flood of advertisements "pending" - and many more indirect jobs if I spend the advertised products.

They are still fascinating these specialists waiting. They manage to sell the idea to companies that the best time to contact us is when:

- on edge, we wait in a queue,
- we defecate as quietly as possible in a public toilet,
- we suffer from a chronic cough in our blue mask, right next to a child in crisis to the clinic.

logic, they think, because in these moments, we have "nothing to do." We would therefore be more receptive to advertising messages and permeable, more manipulable. Hence the idea to deal with posters, flyers, emails, or worse, with their chain of corporate radio!

Not that I want to lecture to graduates of waiting, but if the "wait marketing" was working, I would use it for a long time. Because if the Company expect to automobile insurance in Quebec had been able to serve my purpose with the most Machiavellian man, I would have done, right? Think about it ladies, no need to take this moment to encourage post-coital your men to leave their hammers! A simple visit to the clinic enough! In the waiting room, you bomb out "Honey, it's time for the bathroom," and next to you, the aisles of the Reno-Depot!

A wedding, anyone? Remember to communicate your intentions to the "right place at the right time," thanks to "wait marketing". What do you think of the queue of the bank to make your big demand? With a little skill, you'll get a "yes, I do". Send experts!

You laugh? You are right.

If I m'improvisais marketing expert, I would say companies that manna is not on the side of expectations that plague our daily lives, but rather from the more long, made of hope and concern. The money to be made nests in anticipation that plunges us into the unknown, which forces us to live the present moment. A time that we do not combine.

What do we do while waiting to sell our home, finding a job, fall in love, get divorced or pregnant? Follies. We buy the useless, we consume with pleasure. We spend our attention to the mind.

These days, I expect my childbirth. To make me wait, my midwife suggested that I make my stomach and my cast bust of pregnancy. Some 130 to $ 300 to chatter ... in the meantime!

In a brochure, a company that offers belly casting, "Why not take advantage of waiting to celebrate your femininity?" Another company says it "sets a most beautiful moments of your life into a work of art. " What a great way to pass time, right?

It's nice to drown with this kind of consumption, but do not forget that there is always tomorrow saver. One moment, the waiting ended, must sober up.

If, during my first pregnancy, I had the audacity to capture that moment when my baby and I were one, I have four beautiful today plaster casts size hanging at the bottom of the shed. Gouache four bellies of inspirational thoughts on the meaning of life. Four large body of gypsum that I could never sell or get rid of without remorse.

Treasures bulky and fragile to be preserved! A real nightmare.

I imagine, hysterical, screaming at one of my daughters who had broken his shell playing mother: "Never mind, you will not get you, your stomach when you go to mom in an apartment! "

The drama might even go up a notch if the same child had not broken its shell, but that of his sister. How to remedy the situation? It glues together the whole? It breaks all the shells in fairness? We're going to therapy?

Worse, my husband could be widowed and girls do not want their bellies at home mom. It would then be forced to rebuild his life with my four voluptuous body in his garage. I've heard to justify his young love: "Understand me. If I get rid of their bellies cast would be like to kill again!"

Who knows, maybe at my funeral, one of my girls, adult, have the intelligence of my m'inhumer with bellies?

You know what? There is a secret to keep the economy of expectation of life without hangover. It is called gratitude.

What do you think if I gouaches a nice thank you on my belly cast, and I offered it to my midwife?